


SEASONAL FUCKING CHEER 2016 FICATHON - tumblr ficlets

by iriswallpaper



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Slash, M/M, Tumblr: johnlockchallenges
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:49:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8743288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iriswallpaper/pseuds/iriswallpaper
Summary: My collection of ficlets for the SEASONAL FUCKING CHEER 2016 FICATHON moderated on tumblr during the month of December 2016 by  msdisdain  and  roquentine .SEASONAL FUCKING CHEER 2016 FICATHON





	1. Day 1 - You should really take off that seasonal jumper and/or hat and/or pair of shoes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roquentine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roquentine/gifts), [msdisdain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/msdisdain/gifts).



**Day 1. You should really take off that seasonal jumper and/or hat and/or pair of shoes**

 

 

 

“That’s hideous take it off.”

“What? I like it.”

“Get over here. Get it off!”

“Wait! Let me just…”

“ _Mrph..._ ”

“At least let me get it over my head before you start that…”

“Too late.”

“ _Ohhh.... Ahhh… **OHHHH**!_ ”


	2. Day 2 Inappropriate gifts: benefits and drawbacks

**Day 2 Inappropriate gifts: benefits and drawbacks**

 

 

“Is that a bow around your…”

“All I want for Christmas is you. So all I’m giving your for Christmas is me.”

“But why did you put it around your…”

“Because you  _ like  _ it.”

“Nope.”

“You seemed to like it last night.”

“Nope.”

“But…”

“I don’t like it. I  _ love  _ it.”


	3. Day 3 - Love, Actually: That porn stunt double does not look like me AT ALL what are you on about

**Day 3 - Love, Actually: That porn stunt double does not look like me AT ALL what are you on about**

 

 

“You’re not watching  _ that  _ again!”

“It’s funny.”

“It’s tedious and boring.”

“*** _ guffaw _ ***”

“God’s sake, give me the remote. Look - that short guy looks like you. But thicker.”

“What? Him! No, he doesn’t.”

“You, but heavier. And with a smaller…”

“Stop! Fine! I’ll turn the channel.”


	4. Day 4 Yes, _________, there is a Santa Claus

**Day 4 Yes, _________, there is a Santa Claus**

 

 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m putting your gift under the Christmas tree.”

“I can see that. But why are you wearing that…”

“I thought you’d like an authentic Santa gift delivery.”

“Santa wears considerably more clothing than _that_.”

“How do you know? Have you ever actually seen Santa?”

“There’s actually no Santa. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, ______, there is a Santa Claus. _Viol‵a._ ”

“C’mere, Saint Nick. I’ve got a little something for you.”

“That’s not little. Actually it’s quite … large.”


	5. Day 5 Mistletoe, or why kissing under a parasitic plant is a terrible idea

**Day 5 Mistletoe, or why kissing under a parasitic plant is a terrible idea**

 

 

 

“Really, this has gone too far. Look what Mrs. Hudson put up in the foyer!”

“That’s mistletoe. Why did you take it down?”

“It’s a stupid tradition that can cause all sorts of problems.”

“Put it back up! Wait, problems? Like what?”

“Say Anderson comes here.”

“Yes?”

“And he stops under the parasitic plant hung from the foyer light fixture.”

“Yes?”

“And Mrs. Hudson notices, and insists that you kiss him.”

“Oh god, you’re right. Bin it. Now!”


	6. Day 6 - What? The heat’s not working?

**Day 6 - What? The heat’s not working?**

 

 

“Christ! Get your feet off me - they’re like ice.”

“I discovered the heat’s off when I got up to go to the loo.”

“What? The heat’s not working?”

“Yep. Cold as an igloo once you get out of bed.”

“Then we’ll just have to stay in bed all day.”

“Dull.”

“C’mere, I’m sure we can think of something to make it interesting.”

“ _ Ohhh.... Ahhh…  _ **_OHHHH_ ** _! _ ”

 


	7. Day 7 - overabundance of seasonal decor

“There is tinsel in my pasta!”

“Let me … oh. Yeah. There is.”

“I could have eaten this and died! Cats get intestinal blockages from ingesting tinsel.”

“Last I checked, you’re not a cat. You’d be ok. It would have come out in the end.”

“In the end!”

“***snickers***”

“Out. I want the sickening overabundance of seasonal decor out of this flat. Now!”

“Calm down and eat your pasta, Scrooge. You’ve got the tinsel out now. It will all be cleared away by Epiphany.”

“That’s a month away. I can’t eat tinsel for a month!”

“If you don’t shut up, there won’t be any pasta to eat.”


	8. Days 8-11

**Day 8. The Grinch, Scrooge, and Other Holiday Enemies You Might Currently Be Acting Like**

**9\. Fruitcake and other things that separate us**

**10\. No, THIS is the worst holiday song of all time**

**11\. Holidays: the worst possible choice to bring someone home for the first time  
**

 

“This has to be the absolute worst holiday song of all time. Bar none.”

“I don’t think it’s so bad. What about that song from The Grinch? It’s worse.”

“Point made. That song is as horrible as your grandmother’s fruitcake.”

“What? Nana’s fruitcake is delicious.”

“God I hate shopping. As if it weren’t unbearable enough, this song makes it worse.”

“Come on, Scrooge. You’re acting like shopping is the seventh circle of hell. It’s only the second.”

“Shopping isn’t seventh circle. Making you go home for my family’s holiday is.”

“Oh god yes.”


	9. Day 12 - Being snowed in with me: Good or Bad?

**Day 12 - Being snowed in with me: Good or Bad?**

“You’re going out?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back in a bit. Need anything?”

“Have you looked out the window? There’s a foot of snow.”

“I’ve got boots.”

“Is it really that bad being snowed in with me?”

“I didn’t say it’s bad.”

“C’mere. Let me make it better.”

“But, I said it’s okay.” 

“Better?”

“Better? _Ohhh.... Ahhh… **OHHHH**!_ ”


	10. Day 13 - Day 14

 

_Once again I’m behind so I’m combining two prompts into one. And also deleting part of one prompt, because I live to rebel._ **  
**

**Day 13 ~~I barely know you, but~~ holiday circumstances have forced us to spend a lot of concentrated time together**

**14 Egg nog, mulled wine, and other seasonal beverages that cause unintended consequences**

 

“I can do a very convincing imitation of egg allergy. Wheezing, coughing. All that.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it could get us out of here without hurting your family’s feelings.”

“How? There’s no eggs on the table.”

“ _Egg_ nog. Made with _eggs_.”

“Let me get you a glass. A large one.”

“Okay, get ready for the show. Just make sure no one calls an ambulance.”


	11. Day 17 - I’m told it is the season for good will toward men so I am going to try to not hate this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am five days behind, so I’m just picking the prompt that inspired me today. I may try to get caught up - may not, I’ll have to see how the rest of the week goes. I’m also modifying the prompt a bit - apologies to the mods of the challenge!

**Day 17 - I’m told it is the season for good will toward men so I am going to try to not hate ~~you~~ this**

 

 

“Turn over.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to try it tonight.”

“But you hate it.”

“I’m told it is the season for good will toward men, so I am going to try to not hate it. You are a man. Thus, I will show you good will by…”

“Okay! You know you really don’t have to.”

“I know. Don’t get used to it.”


	12. Day 19 - I have always hated the holidays but you love them and I love you, so… damn it

“What’s this?”

“A gift. Obviously.”

“But we don’t do gifts.”

“I have always hated the holidays but you love them, and I love you so … damn it…”

“C’mere.”

“What?”

” “I want to give you a proper thank you.”

“ _ Ohhh.... Ahhh…  _ **_OHHHH_ ** _!” _


	13. 18. The holiday season has inspired me to make this heartfelt grand gesture I have been wobbling on

  1. **The holiday season has inspired me to make this heartfelt grand gesture I have been wobbling on**



 

“Go ahead and open it.”

“Now?”

“Yes, go on.”

“But, we agreed. You said…”

“The holiday season has inspired me to make this heartfelt grand gesture I have been wobbling on. I find myself thinking that it is a good idea to make things legal.”

“Fits perfectly!”

“Of course it does. Are you surprised?”

“Not one bit, you brilliant man. C’mere.”

“Why?”

” “I want to show you what I think of your gesture.”

“ _ Ohhh.... Ahhh…  _ **_OHHHH_ ** _!” _

  
  



	14. 29 - How Mrs. Hudson spends New Year’s Eve

  1. **How Mrs. Hudson spends New Year’s Eve**



 

 

 

“Boys, just wanted to let you know, I’m turning in early tonight. My hip’s bothering me.”

“I can help with that, Mrs. Hudson. Pain pills…”

“Oh no, I’d rather stick with my herbal soothers. Just keep it down, will you?”

“Keep what down?”

“You know. The …  _ noise _ . Later tonight, when you…”

“Yes! Yes we will. Good night now, Mrs. Hudson. Must be going.”


	15. 15 - It’s not nice to slam the door on carol singers, and other inappropriate seasonal responses

“Hurry up, get some clothes on before they move on.”

“I am not getting out of bed for such a ridiculous custom. I don’t care if Elton John is singing at the front door. No.”

“But Mrs. Hudson is standing on the step alone. Come down and be with her.”

“I can’t be held responsible for what I’d say to the singing ninnies who interrupted such a perfectly nice blow…”

“Okay! Okay, stay in bed. I’ll be right back.”


	16. 16 - I’m not just making this major change because it’s New Year’s Eve; that’s a total coincidence

“Are you shaving your…”

“Yes.”

“Is this some kind of New Year’s thing? New year, new you?”

“I’m not just making this major change because it’s New Year’s Eve; that’s a total coincidence.”

“Then, why?”

“I thought you might like your detectives clean shaven.”


	17. 21 - Encounters with Santa and other things that may be better in theory

  1. **Encounters with Santa and other things that may be better in theory**



 

“Christ this itches.”

“It’s ticking my…”

“The beard is scratching my skin raw.”

“There’s red fuzz in my pubic hair.”

“Forget it. I’m taking it off.”

“But you’re the one who wanted to play Santa.”

“This Santa play may be better in theory.”


End file.
